Damned Love
by Anna De La Fere
Summary: Everyone knows that it was D'artagnan who saved Athos from the burning house, but what if it was Milady herself? Athos' and Milady's thoughts during their first encounter and Athos' realization in the end.


"You are dead. I watched you hang." – Athos whispered, almost forgetting the burning house they were in. Seeing his wife in the same house after five years, still alive, still beautiful and with so much hatred in her eyes was the last thing his mind could ever imagine. He expected to see her like this in hell, where they both belonged for the same reason: Killing. How did she survive? Why was she here? What did she want from him?

"You didn't watch, did you?" – Milady spat, breaking him out of his reverie, - "You couldn't stay to see your beloved wife choking on the end of a rope".

Her survival made sense. Now he had to know how she did it. He thought of Remy's dead body he had seen several minutes ago and his mind immediately understood that Remy was involved in this deeper than Athos thought.

"Remy…" – He said, wanting to prove his suspect.

Milady looked at him sharply and explained shortly how Remy had cut her down after Athos left.

"But look," – She continued, - "I still carry the token of your love." – She said, revealing scars on her pale throat.

"You killed Remy!" – Athos said, still not wanting to believe his now clear mind.

"Put him out of his misery," – She replied as if she had saved someone instead of killing, - "He's been the last five years waiting for you to show up and discover his crime. He was half dead already".

A sudden wave of hatred ran through Athos' spine, provoking his body to move forward and finish what he had started. He obeyed it, but Milady was quick and stepped aside, before he could grab her and let him crush his body on the nearest wall. She smirked evilly, content with his pitiful state.

Athos turned around, barely standing on his own feet, still not believing she was there, with him. Again.

"I am dreaming." – He half asked, almost sure of his conclusion.

"Drunk perhaps", - She scoffed, - "But not dreaming".

Before Athos could reply, Milady hit him her torch hard, leaving a small burnt on his head. Athos landed on the floor heavily, with a small groan. With a great strength, he turned to face her.

"Why are you here?" – He whispered, barely audible.

"To erase the past, to destroy it completely," – She said sharply, then continued, kneeling in front of him, settling her blade on his throat, - "I am glad you came back. It's right you should die with this house."

"A house, where you murdered my brother." – Athos said with a broken voice.

"I killed Thomas to save our love." – She suddenly raised her voice and pulled him up to face him.

"You killed him, because he discovered the truth. That you were a criminal who with lies and tricks entered my life". – Athos whispered, voice trembling.

"He was a foul and a hypocrite, he deserved to die! I thought you would understand that!" – She shouted at him, breathing heavily, while Athos remained silent, but his broken look spoke volumes.

Milady looked up at the burning house surrounding them both. For years she had been waiting for this moment. Imagined him burning with this damned house right in front of her eyes, shouting in agony. Her mind kept seeing his burned body and his new brothers' mournful faces. It filled her empty, hatred filled heart with an evil joy. Since the day he tried to kill her seeing him dead became her main aim. Although, she still loved him deeply, hatred never failed to blind her. An unnatural thirst of revenge was burning her throat. He didn't spare her once, so why would she spare him?

Athos' sudden movement waved her thoughts away. He pulled himself towards her, burying his face in her chest.

"Anne." – He whispered breathlessly.

Her name sounded so good on his tongue. Overwhelmed with emotion, she found herself kissing his head, running her beautiful fingers through his messy hair.

"Perhaps it's best, if it ends like this", - She said, suddenly coming back to her senses. Her sharp blade found his throat again.

Athos felt emotionally drained. He had nothing to lose and nothing left to gain. His brothers would somehow get over with his death. France would find a better swordsman, even his horse would get a better master than this broken soul. The king had many musketeers, so it wouldn't be a big deal to lose one. He had abandoned his title, kept distance from his friends and remained in shadows during the last five years. He had no one to share his burden with. He believed, nobody would understand what he went through. He had nothing to give others and others had nothing to give him. He was alone in the whole universe. Of course, he still had his brothers and dear captain beside him, but they were too good for him. He didn't deserve them. They would be better without him. Porthos and Aramis wouldn't have to carry him home every night after drinking so much that he barely remembered his name. As for D'artagnan, Athos felt a bit guilty for leaving him, but he was a smart guy and would find a new mentor. Perhaps, Treville. In a word, Athos was fully ready to give up and leave this world. He had been ready since the day, the king sent him to jail and if it weren't his friends, he would be free from his own misery by now. But god had other plans.

"Do it," – Athos whispered, desperate to set himself free, - "Do it".

A silver chain with a pendant caught Milady's attention. She pulled it up and opened it. A small gasp escaped her throat, seeing her favorite flower painted on the chain. A new wave of emotions shook her completely. Hatred was suddenly replaced with shock and… Love? She didn't dare to give it a name yet. But seeing her beloved chain on her husband's neck, realization suddenly hit her: He still loved her. Despite of everything, he was unable to forget her. Her heart sunk at this. She thought he hated her, was proud of himself for killing her, but no. He did love her even after all these years. Milady didn't know it was possible to hold two feelings for the same person at the same time, but her husband proved that it was actually possible and in fact, her heart was able to contain both, love and hatred for him.

Athos watched her silently, wondering what her next step would be. This woman was an enigma he was unable to unravel. Her actions have proved that she would stop at nothing if she had an aim and this time her aim was him. He was sure his death would be painful, but sweet and relieving in the end. He had faced pain before, deeper, sharper than he would feel now. And he was ready now. His expression was full of acceptance. He had nothing to lose anyway…

Milady's eyes were still focused on the pendant, but her attention wandered somewhere else. Her mind recalled some pieces of her better life. When she was a better person. When she loved and was loved. It was him, who forced the best of her out, revealing her good sides to the world and she was grateful for that. He was the light in her soul, her better half, her savior, her angel, her everything. When she escaped her death, she felt hatred for him for the first few days, but then… Oh then, her love had returned, stabbing her heart with its sharp knife and she found herself unable to breathe without him. She felt like she was kicked out of heaven. Nothing could destroy her more. She was ready to sell her soul to devil just to be with her Olivier again. Yes, he was hers and would always be. And her chain on his neck was the proof of that. No, she couldn't let him die. Not like this. He would die in his old age, in a warm bed, in a comfortable atmosphere of his friends and loved ones. She would never forgive herself if she ended up responsible of her better half's death. She couldn't destroy her angel, her Athos. It didn't matter what he did to her, she couldn't do the same. Just couldn't. He was everything she had ever loved. No, adored and even the thought of killing him was shattering her heart. No, she wouldn't do it.

* * *

Athos startled in surprise, as he felt two gentle hands pulling him up into a standing position. He had no time to understand what was going on. The hands were gentle, but firm on his body, trying with all their might to bear his weight and he obeyed, standing up. He was even more shocked, when Milady put his arm on her shoulders and guided him towards the door. Athos had no energy to free himself, so he let her drag him outside and lay him on the ground, a few meters away from the house. She kneeled next to him and put his head on her lap, running her hands through his hair, speaking softly, cursing herself for hurting him from time to time, while Athos kept coughing hard.

"I am sorry, my love." – Milady whispered, kissing his forehead gently.

Athos was still in shock and couldn't find his voice to reply. He was tired from coughing out smoke and remained lifeless in Milady's arms.

She was still murmuring things softly in his ear, but her voice died, when they heard D'artagnan's desperate shout. He was shouting Athos' name while approaching them.

Before Athos could realize what was happening, Milady lowered him gently on the ground and vanished, leaving him wondering if she really was there. But she was late, the young boy saw her.

D'artagnan was shocked to see Athos so weak and limp. He helped his mentor up, splashing some water on his face, trying to get him back to life. Athos' eyes were empty and glassy. The boy felt guilty for leaving him even for a second. He knew leaving him alone was a bad idea, but didn't go against the older man's word.

The Gascon sighed in relief as he found some signs of life on his mentor's face. He wanted to apologize, to ask him how he managed to survive, who was that woman he had seen a moment ago, but couldn't bring himself together to say anything. Instead, he hugged Athos tightly, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Athos hugged back, but his mind was still with his wife. She was alive. She was free and her mind was full of bad intentions. Her arrival had turned his world and "peaceful life" upside down. They were damned, their love was damned and nothing could ever change that.


End file.
